How to stay safe on a first date: before, during and after

You matched, you talked, and now you have a plan to meet. Most matches are who they say they are, and a little planning lets you relax and enjoy the date.

Short answer: Meet in a busy public place, get yourself there and back, and tell a friend where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to be home. Before the date, look your match up and have a phone or video call. During the date, keep your drink and your things with you, and leave whenever you want. Afterwards, text your friend, and block and report anyone who made you feel unsafe.

First-date safety checklist: before, during and after

Every step comes from RAINN's dating tips, the FTC, or the apps' own safety pages.

A check-in text you can copy

Sam, Alex and the café are invented for this example.

Hi Sam. Tonight I'm meeting Alex from Hinge at the Corner Café on Main Street at seven. Their profile photo is attached. I'm taking a rideshare there and back. I'll text you when I'm home, and by ten at the latest. If I text "how's the dog?", call me with an emergency so I can leave.

Bumble suggests sharing your date's name, where and when. The code word comes from RAINN.

Before you meet

Check they are who they say they are

RAINN's advice is to research your match online, cut off contact if anything worries you, and still proceed with caution if nothing does. If anything seems off, try this step from the FTC's advice for a suspected romance scam: "Do a reverse image search of the person's profile picture." A photo tied to another name, or to details that don't match, is a sign of a scam.

To check a match's public accounts from their number, see our guide to finding someone's social media by phone number. For scam scripts, read our guide to Tinder scams. The FTC's rule: "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person."

An app badge is narrow. Hinge says its "Selfie Verification" confirms a user's photos match their face, and that "it does not confirm their name, age, or other identity details."

Talk before you meet

Tinder, Hinge and Match all describe a phone or video call as "a useful screening tool" before meeting. Be wary of a match who wants to move platforms but doesn't want to meet up or video call, which Match treats as a red flag. On Tinder and Hinge, a call there means moving off the app, so wait until you're comfortable.

Pick the place and plan your ride

Meet in a well-lit, busy area like a coffee shop, restaurant or park, as RAINN advises. Never meet at either home, and end the date if your match pressures you to go somewhere private: both are rules in Tinder's safety tips. Get there yourself, by car, rideshare or a friend's lift. If you're driving, have a backup such as a rideshare app or a friend, another Tinder suggestion.

Keep some things to yourself

Until you've built trust, RAINN says not to share your home address, phone number, workplace or daily routine. Keep the chat in the app at first, because people with bad intentions often try to move the conversation to text, messaging apps, email or phone right away, according to Tinder.

What each app and phone offers, read on 2 October 2026

Features get paused or removed. Each row links to the company's own help page, read on 2 October 2026, so check it before you rely on a feature.

A timed check suits a first date well. Apple gives meeting someone new as its own example for the Check In timer.

During the date

Watch your drink. Only accept one poured or served directly by the bartender or server, and never leave food or a drink unattended. If your date pushes you to drink more than you're comfortable with, hold your ground and end the date. These tips are Tinder's, apart from the food-and-drink rule, which comes from RAINN.

Keep your phone and wallet on you, as Tinder advises. Have some cash too, so you can pay and leave immediately (RAINN).

You can leave at any point. In Tinder's words, it's okay to end the date early if you're feeling uncomfortable, and "in fact, it's encouraged." If your instincts say something is off, ask the bartender or server for help. RAINN puts it plainly: "You don't owe anyone your time or politeness when your safety or comfort is at risk."

Red flags on a first date

One awkward moment is not a verdict on a person. These signs come from the apps', RAINN's and the FTC's own advice:

• They push to meet quickly, which RAINN calls a red flag.
• They avoid your questions (Tinder), or show urgency or desperation, especially when money is involved (Match).
• They won't call or video chat, or they want to leave the app but won't meet (Tinder, Match).
• They pressure you to go somewhere private, or to drink more (Tinder).
• They ask for money. Never send it to someone you haven't met in person (FTC).
• They cross your boundaries or make you uncomfortable. It's okay to leave, RAINN says.

After the date

Get home the way you planned and text your friend. If you started Check In or Safety Check, end it.

If you don't want to see them again, say so briefly, or don't reply. Blocking is private on Tinder and Bumble: the other person isn't notified. If something worried you, report the profile in the app. Tinder says you can still report someone you're no longer matched with. To report someone you've already unmatched on Bumble, contact Bumble's support team and include screenshots of your conversations if you have them.

If something happened to you:

• If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
• After a sexual assault, call the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673), or text "HOPE" to 64673. RAINN says support is available 24/7.
• For relationship abuse in the US, Bumble lists love is respect at 866-331-9474, or text LOVEIS to 22522.
• Keep the messages and screenshots, and report the profile in the app.
• If they asked for money, don't send any more. If you already paid, contact your bank or the payment company right away, then report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and tell the app.

If a date pressured you, scared you or made you feel unsafe, it is not your fault. Nothing you do or don't do can prevent another person's predatory actions, RAINN says, and no method of risk reduction is perfect, according to Match. Help is available.

A quick check before you meet

For a second look before a first date, TrulyWho shows a match's public accounts, photos and work from their email or phone in about a minute. It leaves out dating and adult sites, and it is not a consumer reporting agency, so it is for your own safety and never for jobs, housing or credit.

FAQ

What is a red flag on a first date?

Watch for pressure. Pushing to meet quickly is a red flag for RAINN, and so is avoiding your questions, according to Tinder. If a date pressures you to go somewhere private or to drink more, Tinder says to end the date. Match treats urgency or desperation as a red flag, especially when money is involved. Never send money to someone you haven't met in person, the FTC warns. If someone crosses your boundaries, RAINN says it's okay to leave.

Should I let my date pick me up?

Not for a first date. RAINN says to avoid letting your date pick you up or drive you home, and not to invite them into your car either. Take your own car, a rideshare or a friend's lift. Tinder's reason: being in control of how you get to and from the date means you can leave whenever you want.

How do I leave a date that feels unsafe?

Just go. Ending a date early is okay, and Tinder goes further: it's encouraged. Many bartenders and servers will help you make a fast exit, according to RAINN, so ask them, and keep some cash to pay and leave immediately. A code word with a friend gives you a reason to step out. If you feel in danger, call 911.

Should you video call before a first date?

Yes. Tinder, Hinge and Match each call a phone or video call a useful screening tool before meeting. Tinder retired its Face to Face video chat and Hinge removed its in-app calls, so a call there means moving off the app. Hinge frames the call as the step after you move the chat off Hinge. Bumble still has in-app voice and video calls, so you don't need to swap numbers first.

What should I tell a friend before a first date?

Tell them who you're meeting and where, plus when you expect to be home. RAINN and Bumble both list those details, and Bumble adds that you'll contact them once you're home. Add a photo of their profile, share your location with Find My or Google Maps, and agree a code word.