Online dating red flags: a checklist before you meet a match

Most matches are who they say they are. A few are not, and the signs usually show up in the profile or the chat before you ever meet. This checklist is for the evening before a first date.

Short answer: The biggest online dating red flags are a match who asks for money or tells you how to pay, pushes you off the app right away, keeps avoiding a video call or a meeting, asks early for your address or codes, sends explicit content you did not ask for, or gets angry when you say no. If you see one, pause the chat, keep the messages and report the profile in the app.

The red flags checklist: what to look for before you meet

This list is about safety, not taste. Old photos or a vague job title are not on it; a flattering but real profile is kittenfishing, a matter of preference. Each item below comes from a named source read October 20, 2026.

Scam red flags

1. They ask for money, or tell you how to pay. The FTC says "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person," and calls this "the number one way to avoid a romance scam." It says scammers ask you to pay by wire, gift card, a money transfer app or cryptocurrency. Bumble calls a request for money "a major red flag." What to do: say no, and stop the chat.
2. They offer investment or crypto tips, or ask you to open an account. Tinder says "Don't make investments or open accounts with someone you matched with or through services or websites they recommend." The FBI's annual IC3 report for 2025 says crypto investment scammers typically make first contact through texts, social media, ads or "dating applications and then quickly move the conversation to a messaging platform." What to do: say no, and report the profile in the app.
3. There is a crisis, and they are far away. Tinder, Hinge and Match, which are all owned by Match Group, publish very similar safety tips. Tinder and Hinge warn about "scammers who claim to be from your country but stuck somewhere else, especially if they ask for financial help to return home." What to do: send nothing. The full list of scam scripts is in signs of a romance scammer.

Fake profile red flags

1. They push you off the app right away. Tinder says that because its chats are checked by its Trust & Safety detections, "users with bad intentions often try to move the conversation to text, messaging apps, email, or phone right away." Moving to text is often normal. The flag is speed, especially with no call and talk of money. What to do: stay on the app until you have talked. More in WhatsApp dating scams.
2. They keep avoiding a video call or a meeting. The three apps say "Be wary of anyone who will not meet in person or talk on a phone/video call." Bumble flags someone who "repeatedly avoids video calls, phone calls, or meeting in person without a clear reason." What to do: ask for a short video call. See what it means when a match never meets in person.
3. Their photos or story don't add up. The FTC suggests a reverse image search of the profile picture, and says a photo tied to another name is a sign of a scam. Bumble says "a pattern of changing stories is worth paying attention to." What to do: run the search with our reverse image search guide, and see how to tell if a dating profile is fake for the other signs.
4. They ask you to sign up on a "verification" site through their link. The FBI warned in April 2024 that "Under the guise of safety, the fraudster provides a link that directs the victim to a website advertising a 'free' verification process". Victims who sign up end up paying monthly fees, the FBI says. The flag is that the match sends the link and pushes you to use it. What to do: don't click. Report the profile.

Boundary and safety red flags

1. They rush love or commitment. The three apps say "If someone is avoiding your questions or pushing for a serious relationship without meeting or getting to know you first, that's a red flag." What to do: slow down and see how they take it. More in love bombing.
2. They ask early where you live or work, or for codes. Tinder says "Never share personal information, such as your social security number, home or work address, or details about your daily routine (for example, that you go to a certain gym every Monday) with people you don't know." Bumble flags a match who asks for "passwords, verification codes, or other personal information." What to do: keep those details back, and never share a code. loveisrespect's advice for dating while traveling says "You don't have to share your hometown, where you live, or the name of your workplace." If you already gave out your number, see what someone can do with your phone number.
3. They send explicit content you did not ask for, or ask you for some. StrongHearts Native Helpline says "If the person you matched with sends you sexually-explicit pictures without your consent, this is a clear red flag. Another red flag is if they ask you to send sexually-explicit pictures right away." The FBI warned in September 2021 that sextortion often starts on dating apps, moves to another messaging platform, and ends in blackmail. What to do: don't send images, and report the profile.
4. They want a private first meeting, or to pick you up. The three apps say to meet "never at your home, your date's home, or any other private location." Tinder wants you "in control of how you get to and from your date so that you can leave whenever you want." What to do: pick a public place and get there yourself. The plan is in how to stay safe on a first date.
5. They get angry or guilt you when you say no. StrongHearts says of a match who pushes you over slow replies: "If they use small forms of guilt and manipulation to get you to respond, this is a clear red flag that they do not respect your time and boundaries." loveisrespect lists "Pressuring you to do things you don't want." What to do: say no once, clearly. If they keep pushing, unmatch and report the profile.

The one test that covers most of them

State a boundary and watch the reply. loveisrespect suggests boundaries such as staying on the app instead of sharing your number, or a video call before you meet. It says "Your potential date should respect those boundaries while being honest with you about their own."

Maya and Jordan are invented for this example. Maya says she would like a video call before meeting on Saturday. Jordan replies "sure, how about tomorrow at 8?" That is a good sign. If Jordan says his camera is broken, then asks for her address so he can pick her up, two items on the list just showed up at once.

How common these red flags are

Pew Research Center surveyed US adults in July 2022. Among all online dating users, it found that 38% had received sexually explicit messages or images they did not ask for, 30% had experienced continued unwanted contact, and 6% had been threatened with physical harm. In the same July 2022 survey, women under 50 reported more: 56% had been sent unwanted explicit messages or images and 43% had experienced continued unwanted contact.

The FTC said in a May 2026 consumer alert that reported losses to romance scams rose 22% in 2025.

What to do tonight for each red flag

What to do if you spot a red flag

You never have to confront anyone. Bumble says "Don't confront the person as this could put your physical safety at risk."

1. Stop sending money or information. Hinge says "if money is involved, it's best to report them and move on."
2. Keep the messages. Bumble says to save evidence before you block them.
3. Report the profile to the app. Tinder says "Block and report anyone that violates our terms or your personal boundaries."
4. Report a scam to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI at ic3.gov.
5. Call your bank or the payment company right away if you paid, and ask for a refund, as the FTC advises.
6. If someone threatens to share images of you, Bumble says to save your evidence first and "don't pay any blackmail demand."

People 60 and over can get help filing an IC3 complaint from the DOJ Elder Justice Hotline at 1-833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311).

Support is free:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
• loveisrespect: call 866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522.
• StrongHearts Native Helpline: call or text 1-844-762-8483.
• RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800) 656.HOPE, as listed on Bumble's safety page written with RAINN.
• If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

A quick look before you meet

TrulyWho shows a match's public accounts, photos and work from an email or phone number in about a minute, and a name finds more. Reports leave out dating and adult sites, and TrulyWho is not a consumer reporting agency, so it can't be used for jobs, credit, housing or any other FCRA purpose.

FAQ

What is the biggest red flag in online dating?

A request for money from someone you have not met. The FTC calls not sending money to a sweetheart you haven't met "the number one way to avoid a romance scam." For your safety in person, watch most closely for a match who won't accept a no. StrongHearts and loveisrespect both list that pressure as a red flag.

How can you tell if you are talking to a scammer on a dating site?

Look for a pattern: a fast push off the app, no video call, a story about being stuck far away, then money or crypto. The apps' own safety pages name these signs. One alone may be nothing. If several show up, stop and report the profile.

How can you tell when an online relationship is risky?

Watch how the match handles a limit. loveisrespect lists "Not respecting your boundaries" as a red flag, and StrongHearts says a match "must respect your decision" if you don't want to move platforms. Pressure or anger after a no is the risk.

What should I do if a match crosses a line?

Keep the messages, then unmatch and report the profile. Bumble says "You don't need to be certain a rule was broken to reach out." If you feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and in an emergency call 911.